Rudy

This past week my attention has been consumed by two news stories.

The first is about the 31 year old pastor who was shot, allegedly by his wife, in Tenesee. She was searched for and found far away with the couple's children. She was arrested, and she has tearfully apologized to her family, friends and community.

This story has been everywhere--CNN, our local news, the radio, and the newspaper. It is the type of sad, shocking story that leaves everyone shaking their heads.

The second is about Rutherford "Rudy" Wallace, a 35 year old man who, while under medical care, was badly scalded, allegedly neglected for at least an hour, and then died 6 days later in St. Louis. Accidents happened, perhaps policies were not followed, and there are allegations of attempted cover-up or ineptitude. There has been no word of any search or arrest and no tearful apology to his friends, family or community.

This story was nowhere--not on CNN, not on our local news, not on the radio, nor the newspaper. In fact, if it weren't for the internet and Partners in Policymaking, I would not have heard about it at all. This is the type of sad, shocking story that no one ever hears about.

I want to know why the first story is tearing up the airwaves and the second isn't.

Two young men, both living in situations considered safe--one within his church, the other within a state institution for people with disabilities. Of course neither one was safe. Evil and errors are part of life, and as my dad reminds me frequently, "The death rate remains one per capita."

So why does one of these guys' death inspire national mourning and the other nothing more than a weak beaurocratic response from his state government and his mother's heartwrenching advocacy????

There will be arguments that one of the men was just more valuable than the other, but both have been described as loving by those that knew them. The difference is in who knew them, and what was expected of each.

One gentleman's institution, the church, was active in the life of the community and people expected to see him and be part of his life--they miss him. The other genteleman's institution was separate from the life of the community and people who never really knew him expected him to live and die there--which he did.

Safety is an illusion--both men died tragically. One man was valued and is missed--the people that cared about him make heartfelt testimonies. The other was unknown in his community (he reportedly was one of 300+ in his home) and officials issue statements (or don't!)

As the Partner that sent the story out said, "Give me community!"

I know that large institutions are de rigeur all around the country, in many places there are no other options. But separation and annonymity do not breed any more safety than anywhere else--it is clear that all of us will die, some of us tragically. Isolation and depersonalization do not solve this...

Let me and my children live within a community that knows us and, because they know us, can value us--and, if they have to, will cry when we die.

Tomato Sauce

Some folks say that life is like a box of chocolates, but I say life is like a batch of tomato sauce.

To begin with, while tomatoes are obviously the main ingredient in tomato sauce they are not the only ingredient. In fact, if tomatoes were the only ingredient in your sauce it would taste terrible. Believe me, a blop of hot tomato pulp on pasta does not bring generations of Italians home on Sundays for dinner, draw crowds to Italian restaurants or inspire the sweetest movie love scene ever (Lady and the Tramp, of course!)

In truth, even though the majority ingredient in sauce is tomatoes, it's the minority ingredients--parsley, basil, garlic, and maybe even some meat or peppers--that elevate hot tomato pulp to "sauce."

Furthermore, these minority ingredients need to be incorporated into the sauce from the beginning for the flavors to meld properly. Keeping them segregated in a bowl on the counter or adding them in later will not achieve the desired effect.

I learned to make sauce from my mother-in-law: First you put the olive oil in the pan and turn on the heat. Then comes the garlic.

Now the garlic needs some special treatment. To be successful garlic must be chopped, not minced (the food science guy on TV can tell you why!) then it gets put into the heated olive oil and sauteed. It must be cooked long enough to release its flavors, but not long enough for it to brown. If it gets brown throw it out, wash the pan and start again--even a smidgen of burned garlic will ruin the entire batch of sauce. Garlic is a little tricky, you might call it a special-needs spice. And the way you treat your garlic sets the tone for the quality of the entire dish.

Once the garlic is ready you add the rest of your ingredients, simmer for hours stirring occasionally. YUM!!!!! Serve over hot pasta.

Tomatoes give the dish its title, incorporating the "minority ingredients" from the start brings out the flavor, and the garlic--special needs and all--sets the tone. All of the ingredients are needed.

Isn't life just like that?